Every day:
Read a chapter in the bible/book of your choice
Daily mass
Work out 30 mins
Shower
Oil hair
Blow Dry
Pluck eyebrows
Floss
Brush teeth
Mouthwash
Wash face
Use cleansing pad
Moisturize
Eye cream
Lotion
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
5/8/2017
5/8/2017
This day I went to work. At work, Dani's mom called me to tell me that her dog had passed away on Thursday. They hadn't told Dani yet. She asked me to tell her when Dani left College Station. Dani and I got lunch. She seems happy. She has a lot going on in her life but she manages to stay positive. Back to work...
I decided I was going to go to daily mass at 5:30. It was a lot shorter than I had anticipated. Father talked about the good shepherd, who opens the gates for those who are deserving. Only thieves and robbers try to enter from elsewhere. A bad shepherd would run when their sheep were being attacked. Only the good shepherd would lead us out of disaster. Communion was about The Lord saying "I have given this up for you. Take it." Each time I repeated "I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed," I had this feeling go through my body. Is this the Lord talking to me? Father said "I've never heard God talk to me through my ears, rather through actions and through other people." I am undeserving but deserving all at the same time.
I went to sell an old purse to a local aggie. I went to the gym, unknowing how weak I truly was. I came home, took a shower then hung out with my roommates and their loud friends. In the end, I shouldn't complain about anything.
Sunday, May 7, 2017
5/7/2017
5/7/2017: The start of my summer journal.
Today I went to church by myself. The worst part is, I didn't even want to go. I woke up at 9:30 with the intention of going to the 10 AM mass, and found myself laying in bed knowing that I had missed mass. I went to lunch with my littles, Olivia and Ashleigh then came home. I wasn't doing anything important at all, really. As 5:00 rolled around I decided I was going to go. I went. By myself. And I don't know why but I have this fear of doing anything alone. Not the idea of doing it alone, rather, the idea of running into someone who sees me doing it alone. A pride thing? Maybe. Regardless, I went. I was 10 minutes early, found myself in a pew near the back. I couldn't bring myself to sit near the front. How hypocritical of me would it be to miss mass for weeks then to sit in the front? I am so undeserving. I prayed- for some sort of self peace. I prayed that I would be rid of the devil and filled with Him. I repeated it over and over and over. I know and understand that I have been letting the devil fill my mind with thoughts and ideas and letting him push me to make decisions that I know the Lord does not approve of- drinking, skipping church, not praying... I found that I can go days without even thinking of Jesus. What kind of person have I become? And then I realized. I am so selfish. All I was thinking about was me. I am so undeserving but He is so forgiving. He is almighty. He is selfless and loves each and every one os us completely. Why am I thinking about myself when there are people out there that don't know about God's love? How can I even compare my pain to those who don't even know there's everlasting life? I have this fear of going to church alone. But I think from now on, I'll invite someone to go with me. The Lord wants us to spread His gospel and the best way to do that is to show them the grace of God.
I recorded a song with Jadha. A song we sang years ago.
I got dinner with Ally, and we talked about keeping each other accountable this summer and for time to come.
Today I went to church by myself. The worst part is, I didn't even want to go. I woke up at 9:30 with the intention of going to the 10 AM mass, and found myself laying in bed knowing that I had missed mass. I went to lunch with my littles, Olivia and Ashleigh then came home. I wasn't doing anything important at all, really. As 5:00 rolled around I decided I was going to go. I went. By myself. And I don't know why but I have this fear of doing anything alone. Not the idea of doing it alone, rather, the idea of running into someone who sees me doing it alone. A pride thing? Maybe. Regardless, I went. I was 10 minutes early, found myself in a pew near the back. I couldn't bring myself to sit near the front. How hypocritical of me would it be to miss mass for weeks then to sit in the front? I am so undeserving. I prayed- for some sort of self peace. I prayed that I would be rid of the devil and filled with Him. I repeated it over and over and over. I know and understand that I have been letting the devil fill my mind with thoughts and ideas and letting him push me to make decisions that I know the Lord does not approve of- drinking, skipping church, not praying... I found that I can go days without even thinking of Jesus. What kind of person have I become? And then I realized. I am so selfish. All I was thinking about was me. I am so undeserving but He is so forgiving. He is almighty. He is selfless and loves each and every one os us completely. Why am I thinking about myself when there are people out there that don't know about God's love? How can I even compare my pain to those who don't even know there's everlasting life? I have this fear of going to church alone. But I think from now on, I'll invite someone to go with me. The Lord wants us to spread His gospel and the best way to do that is to show them the grace of God.
I recorded a song with Jadha. A song we sang years ago.
I got dinner with Ally, and we talked about keeping each other accountable this summer and for time to come.
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