stuck

Sherry said something really interesting to me last night. I feel like it really put things into perspective.

"I could see y'all being cute but you're putting in a lot of effort and I haven't heard anything about what he's done in return"

... and she's right. Completely 100% right. And the worst part is that I can't bring myself to let that fact phase me. I catch myself continuously making excuses to say that we can work out. That we can be better. But what if we can't?

I can't help but imagine different scenarios every day. What if I was brave enough to stop him one day and say "Give me one more chance. Let me be the girl that you wanted from the start." And then we go on some cute dates and we are super cute and stuff?? I wish I could be that daring. Maybe I'll add that to my list of goals.

But I am so incredibly happy with the friendship that has come out of this nonsense.
It's funny, we kind of did it backwards.
We went from being together to being friends and now we're partners.

I don't really know where I was going with this but maybe all of this happened for a reason. I honestly can't imagine my life without jake right now. He honestly means a lot to me. I don't know I'm probably overthinking this.

It's January 4th, 2016 and I am stuck between moving on and lingering behind. I don't want to care but in all truthfulness I can't help it. I catch myself continuously making excuses to say that we can work out. That we can be better. But what if we can't?